Absolutely brilliant. I loved what you did with John here, it was very real and believable. It also felt as though John's reluctance went beyond 'don't ask, don't tell'. You get a hint of it here:

"I want you to--don't you see, this is what I wanted and I shouldn't want it--" John's voice broke off.

It's not just his career that stops him, is it? And btw, that line was my favorite thing in the whole fic (yes, the fight scene rocked too *g*).

So, so happy with this fic. Very cool ;-)