The entire fight scene, the bathroom scene, just so hot and damn. You've really got the hang of the characters. And of course, the self-loathing slant is an interesting way to look at it. I could totally buy into that, with John. (In some ways I could never buy into that with either Jack or Daniel, or even Rodney, in the end. I mean, I think I'd consider the way you wrote Rodney here a lot more realistic. He's got some self-esteem problems but that doesn't stop him from barreling on forth, you know?)
Favourite parts: Obviously the fight. (Not good with action - puhlease). Obviously the bathroom, god yes, the bathroom scene just shot up to my top favourite sex scenes. We get both strength and vulnerability from both of them, and just general sexy goodness. Also these bits:
["I can't do this," John said, sitting back and pushing himself away, looking for all the world as if Rodney had struck him. "This is not right." "What do you mean you can't do it? We were just doing it, why can't you do it?" "Stop. Just shut up, okay?" But John looked more scared than angry as he scrambled to his feet. "I-I have to go now." He continued backing away. "Please."]
That 'Please' is just...sad, you know?
["Your father was military too, wasn't he?" Rodney suddenly remembered. ]
["I want you to--don't you see, this is what I wanted and I shouldn't want it--" John's voice broke off.]
["For god's sake, John." Rodney pulled John's hand away and crouched down. "Don't you understand? It's not about my dick. It's more than that." Rodney took John's face in his hands, pulled him close and kissed him. John froze and Rodney was afraid he would pull away. Rodney had had enough of that, enough of the no's and the rejection and damn it, he was going to get what *he* wanted now. But then John started kissing him back, his mouth wild and wonderful and desperate. Rodney couldn't breathe, he couldn't think anymore, he just hung onto to John and kissed him. This was what they should have been doing all along, from the very start, from the first moment they met.]
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The entire fight scene, the bathroom scene, just so hot and damn. You've really got the hang of the characters. And of course, the self-loathing slant is an interesting way to look at it. I could totally buy into that, with John. (In some ways I could never buy into that with either Jack or Daniel, or even Rodney, in the end. I mean, I think I'd consider the way you wrote Rodney here a lot more realistic. He's got some self-esteem problems but that doesn't stop him from barreling on forth, you know?)
Favourite parts: Obviously the fight. (Not good with action - puhlease). Obviously the bathroom, god yes, the bathroom scene just shot up to my top favourite sex scenes. We get both strength and vulnerability from both of them, and just general sexy goodness.
Also these bits:
["I can't do this," John said, sitting back and pushing himself away, looking for all the world as if Rodney had struck him. "This is not right." "What do you mean you can't do it? We were just doing it, why can't you do it?" "Stop. Just shut up, okay?" But John looked more scared than angry as he scrambled to his feet. "I-I have to go now." He continued backing away. "Please."]
That 'Please' is just...sad, you know?
["Your father was military too, wasn't he?" Rodney suddenly remembered. ]
["I want you to--don't you see, this is what I wanted and I shouldn't want it--" John's voice broke off.]
["For god's sake, John." Rodney pulled John's hand away and crouched down. "Don't you understand? It's not about my dick. It's more than that." Rodney took John's face in his hands, pulled him close and kissed him. John froze and Rodney was afraid he would pull away. Rodney had had enough of that, enough of the no's and the rejection and damn it, he was going to get what *he* wanted now. But then John started kissing him back, his mouth wild and wonderful and desperate. Rodney couldn't breathe, he couldn't think anymore, he just hung onto to John and kissed him. This was what they should have been doing all along, from the very start, from the first moment they met.]
Basically, lots of goodness. Thanks!