thegrrrl2002: (Sheppard hand)
[personal profile] thegrrrl2002
Finally, I've managed to finish my Stargate: Rodney Atlantis fic. It's Sheppard/McKay, and it was haaaaaard to write. I don't know them very well yet. I wasn't at all sure of their voices. I did find some transcripts to read over, and damn, that Rodney cracks me up. He's not half as witty here. Or smart. Okay, maybe I should stop whining about it now. Much thanks to Kylie for her on-target beta, she made it better than it was, she really did. She's my sweetie. As is Rodney.


New Parameters

They were so screwed.

Rodney entered a different set of parameters into the model, but the results were the same: not enough power. He reviewed the details one more time, hoping beyond hope that, unlikely as he knew it to be, he had actually made a mistake, when he realized someone was standing behind him--make that leaning over him, practically breathing down his neck.

"Major," Rodney said, without taking his eyes from the screen. "Is there something I could do for you?"

"What is all that?" John asked, moving closer and pointing at the screen.

"You wouldn't understand." He had work to do, damn it--why did the major have to choose now? When John just stayed there, breathing on him, Rodney relented and explained, "I'm trying to see if I there is any way we can divert enough power under an emergency situation to power up the shields, even for a short period of time."

"Oh, I see. So what do the flashing red numbers here indicate?" John tapped at the screen before Rodney could stop him, smudging it.

Rodney folded his sleeve over his hand and wiped away the fingerprints. "Please don't touch," he said testily. "That means it's not going to work, unless I've miscalculated the loss of energy due to--oh, never mind. It's a complex system, but I it's highly doubtful I've made an error. Suffice it to say, things are not looking good for my current approach, at least right now. So if I could get back to what I was doing before you interrupted me--"

"Rodney." John placed a hand on his shoulder. "You've been working on this all day. Don't you need to take a break?"

Rodney shrugged, but John's hand didn't move. "Take a break? Major, if you recall, we've discovered there are at least 20 Wraith ships in this sector alone--"

"Not directly on their way here, are they?" John's lips brushed the side of his neck as he spoke.

Rodney sighed, then closed his laptop and swiveled his chair around. "Remarkable, how my needing to take a break always seems to coincide with your being horny."

The man didn't have the decency to even look guilty, just smug. "This isn't all about me, you know. You've been awfully bitchy lately. More so than usual." John surprised Rodney by straddling his legs and actually sitting on his lap. "And that's bad for morale." He squeezed Rodney's shoulders with both hands, then cupped his neck, fingers massaging tight muscles.

"Oh, now you are performing a public service?" Rodney refused to give in to the urge to sigh and lean into the touch, even though John's fingers felt good. They always felt good.

"Something like that." John smiled at him, a smile designed made the recipient feel extra special and important. Worse yet, Rodney couldn't help himself--he did feel special when John smiled at him like that. Just like when John first propositioned him a few weeks ago. Just a friendly hand job between buddies, John had said. Where was the harm in that?

And Rodney couldn't think of any harm in it at all. As a matter of fact, it seemed like a damn good idea, especially with the way John's thigh had been pressing against his hard-on. It had turned out to be a singularly enjoyable experience, one he wanted to repeat as often as possible. But he knew he had to keep on playing it cool, because that was the thing you had to do with pretty boys like the major.

"I suppose I could spare a few minutes," Rodney said. Already his hand was gliding along John's thigh. Such nice, hard muscles. He could get used to this lap thing, even though he had to lean back and tilt his head in order to look John in the eye.

"Great," John said with a broad smile, as if he hadn't been getting his way with Rodney each and every time. His hands slid from their massage of Rodney's neck and reached for his pants.

Rodney place a hand on John's, stilling it. "The door?"

John rolled his eyes. "Locked, of course."

"Okay, okay, just checking--I--." He gasped as John's busy hands unbuttoned his trousers and tugged at his clothes until his dick sprang free. Warm hands stroked him as he scrambled desperately to catch up, fumbling with John's trousers, cursing the poor military design. At last he slipped his hand under the waistband of John's briefs to find his dick, nice and firm and eager.

John made a small sound and slid forward, pushing his hips closer. Rodney watched as their dicks bumped together and their fingers entwined. It looked good to him, both of them hard and red, and it felt insanely good to have John's big hand squeezing him like that. It felt so good that he was afraid he was going to lose it, right there, or worse, that he might moan John's name, right out loud.

"Oh, jeeze," John whispered, hunched over so that his forehead touched Rodney's. "Rodney."

He said it so sweetly that before Rodney could stop himself, he blurted out, "Can I kiss you?"

So much for playing it cool.

John pulled back, a surprised expression on his face. "Rodney, I thought you said you didn't--"

"I changed my mind."

"Oh. Okay." Without hesitation, John pressed his lips against Rodney's mouth.

John kissed just the way Rodney thought he would--small, playful kisses, then with more intent, his tongue delicately touching Rodney's lips before slipping past. It was the kind of kissing he could do all day, the kind that actually made him forget about what else he should be doing, at least until John's dick twitched in his hand, reminding him. He moved his hand over it, stroking and pulling, and John did the same with his, and it was incredible--John's tongue, his mouth, those hands sweeping over his dick, John rocking his hips, thrusting into his hand, grunting and kissing him with even more enthusiasm, as if Rodney was the most amazing thing John had ever experienced.

Except that John suddenly stopped, his mouth sliding wetly across Rodney's cheek as he stood up. "What--John?" Rodney stammered, reaching out for him. It was definitely not a good time for John to leave.

Only John didn't leave. He knelt on the floor, between Rodney's legs, and Rodney watched in wonder as John's mouth slid over his dick. He'd dreamed about John doing this, but never expected it to actually happen. "Oh--oh god," he whimpered, for once not caring what he sounded like, because John's mouth was hot and wet. John sucked hard, lips sliding down the length of the shaft. It was better then he had ever imagined. It was beautiful and wonderful, with little slurpy noises that sounded just right. Sliding further down in his chair, pushing himself deeper into that mouth, his head fell back. He buried his fingers in John's hair. He was panting so hard he just knew he was going to hyperventilate and pass out, and that wouldn't be good, no, not good at all, but then he felt it start--the tension in his balls, that twisting sensation deep in his gut, and oh my, that was nice, very nice--

"John," he gasped, grabbing dark hair. "I'm about to--you might want to--"

John moaned around his dick, and that was it. Rodney came, right in his mouth, with almost blinding pleasure, heart thudding noisily in his chest. He swore he saw stars. Oxygen deprived--that must be it. And if that wasn't bad enough, as soon as Rodney finished, John reached up and kissed him. His mouth tasted of come, sort of nasty, but Rodney kept right on kissing him until he was completely out of breath.

The man was hazardous to his health.

When his vision finally cleared, John was on his feet, arms crossed, looking fairly pleased with himself. His trousers were still unfastened, and his dick was hanging down, irresistibly thick and full.

"I thought you said that this was all about a couple of hand jobs between friends?" Rodney asked, trying to keep his body from oozing off the chair and onto the floor.

"I changed *my* mind," John informed him.

"Okay. Mind changing. I like that." He sat up, tucking in and buttoning up his pants. "I liked it very much."

"Hey, listen, feel free to return the favor, if you want to. If it's something that you do." John reached down to touch his own dick. He sounded uncharacteristically tentative.

Rodney rolled his chair forward, because no way was he standing up right now. "As a matter of fact, yes, it *is* something I do. Sit," he said, pushing John up on his desk. "Just watch out for the--thank you," he added as John gently pushed his computer aside. Then he spread John's legs and focused his attention on John's dick, poking up right in front of him. He gripped the base and brushed his lips against the head. It was smooth as silk, and from the way John grunted and clutched his arm, exceedingly sensitive. Rodney smiled to himself, because it was his turn now, and he knew this was going to be fun.

And it was fun. Very fun. John's dick fit nicely into his mouth, and every time he sucked it in deep, John would make a satisfyingly desperate noise. He lingered over the head, licking it until John had murmured "oh, Jesus" enough times, and then went back to sucking, pressing his tongue along the underside. He pushed John's shirt up, to see his stomach, running his hand over, enjoying the smell and the feel of John's skin. John grunted loudly, his dick growing even thicker, and Rodney knew this was it, John was losing it.

John came, hips jerking violently and his dick slipped from Rodney's mouth. Rodney grabbed it, trying to keep the mess to a minimum, holding it through spasm after spasm. All the while John moaned, long and low, a sound of pure delight, a sound Rodney wanted to hear all the time. After a final sigh, John grew quiet.

"Uh, damn, did you bring any napkins or anything?" Rodney asked, leaning in to kiss John's stomach. No question about it. He was good at this. Very good.

"Huh?" John looked bewildered. "A what? No, I don't--" He leaned back, eyes half-closed, hair even more disheveled than usual. "Damn, Rodney."

Shaking his head, Rodney stood up to look for himself, his handful of come--John's come--trickling down his wrist. But he stopped to kiss John, because he could, because John's mouth was hanging open. And because John was prettier than ever right after he came.

"Mmm. You know, this might be easier if we were both naked," John murmured against his cheek.

"What? Here? In the lab? Wouldn't that be a little risky?" Rodney located a stack of napkins left over from lunch within arm's reach. He wiped his hands awkwardly, because John had wrapped his arms around his waist and didn't seem interested in letting go anytime soon. "Ah, now look, it's all over my sleeve."

"No, I meant that if I maybe came to your room at night, we wouldn't have to worry about getting come stains on our clothes, or about being interrupted."

Rodney's heart beat faster as he pictured it, he and John naked together in bed, all wrapped up in each other. "I suppose that would be the practical thing to do," he acknowledged.

"Yes, practical. Absolutely." John nodded. "It's important to be practical about these things. And see, I wouldn't have to keep interrupting you while you were trying to get work done."

"Precisely. What do you say--drop by at 2300 hours?" In bed. Naked. He'd be able to touch him everywhere. They could get come all over each other, and maybe even shower it off together. He wondered whether John would stay the night.

"I'll be there." John smiled at him--not that smirky little grin, but a great big, wide smile. A happy one, one that made Rodney feel ridiculously warm inside, and one that made him feel special.

"Good. Don't be late." Rodney crumpled up the napkins he'd used, and for lack of anything better to do with them, stuffed them in his pocket.

"I won't." John tightened his grip around Rodney's waist, pulling him close and kissing him. He lingered a few minutes longer, then adjusted his clothing and left with one last kiss and what seemed to be genuine regret.

Rodney opened his laptop, trying to remember what the hell he had been doing before John had come barging in. Something about modeling energy flows, he thought as the screen blinked to life. And something about being screwed, because he had failed to find a way to power the force field, even for a minute.

Screwed. Maybe he'd be the one getting screwed, tonight, in the privacy of his own room. He rubbed his hands together happily. He decided that his original model wasn't at all correct, and that it would be best to start all over again with a fresh one.

Date: 2004-09-15 06:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gigitrek.livejournal.com
Could it be? Do I get first comment?

Why be nervous? This is great. It's so much better being able to actually picture them when I read, and here, I definitely can. Sweet, unsure Rodney. Sweet, sexy Sheppard. Lap-sitting. (Love the lap-sitting.) Great!

Date: 2004-09-15 06:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jooniper-pearl.livejournal.com
You have Rodney's voice spot on!! I could just hear the snark in his voice. :) And Sheppards 'little boy come play with me' was perfect!! *sigh* Such a nice way to end my day :D

Date: 2004-09-15 06:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickdzoot.livejournal.com
I love Rodney trying to play it cool "because that was the thing you had to do with pretty boys like the major". I love John being surprised, but totally on board with the idea of kissing. I love him surprising Rodney by going down (cough) on his knees, and the fact that he suggested getting together privately in their quarters, further surprising Rodney.

Hell, I think you did very well with Rodney, and the lap-sitting was both funny and very hot.

Date: 2004-09-15 06:28 pm (UTC)
medie: queen elsa's grand entrance (McKay - made for me by Azar)
From: [personal profile] medie
*Grins* They? Are adorable.

And hot.

And yummy

And even more adorable...

and dammit, write more fast. :-p

Date: 2004-09-15 06:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com
Dude, go you with the erotic realism and the under-stated emotions!

*licks you*

Date: 2004-09-15 06:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] artifuss.livejournal.com
I don't know them very well yet.
I know I've already said it in email, but it's worth repeating, I write those two *extremely* well. The actions and words were very true to each character.

Including the sex. *eg*

Really awesome job, hun! :)

Date: 2004-09-15 07:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sffan.livejournal.com
They're so adorable! Great job!

Too many ! !

Date: 2004-09-15 07:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] karendreamer.livejournal.com
That was a nice hot fic. I think you did pretty good with their voices. I'm like you, their voices are still being defined. I could read the light snarkiness in McKay (I don't expect him to be too snarky under those circumstances) and the touch of arrogance in John's voice.

Karen

Date: 2004-09-15 09:02 pm (UTC)
ext_8600: (abs)
From: [identity profile] reedfem.livejournal.com
Oooooh, you know just what I need and just when I need it! ::tosses chocolate truffles at Grrrl::

What a tasty little fic! I love how both of them were insecure and playing it all casual until they figured out they were both on the same page. And I liked how you tied your beginning sentence up in the ending.

I think you captured their voices just fine. Very fine.

::sits up and begs for more::

Date: 2004-09-15 10:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mz-bstone.livejournal.com
thank-you!

B

Date: 2004-09-16 04:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gurrier.livejournal.com
Nice, sweet, real. I was just bemoaning the love-at-first-sight theme in a lot of fiction, and you come along with a working-at-it story.

I'm reading between the lines to John wanting more than "just between friends" from the beginning, and not wanting to scare Insecure!Rodney off. And then Rodney wants a kiss, and before he knows it he has a blow job, and a promise of bed. At his place. I bet John shows up with his toothbrush and a change of clothes... He's so implacably, gently pushy. Rodney's in trouble :)

Date: 2004-09-16 05:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fanaddict.livejournal.com
Rowr! You know, this really hits a kink I have - the old "give a friend a hand turning into a relationship" kink. I think it works well for some characters, especially characters like McKay and Sheppard who are in an oddly isolated situation, and who aren't best friends right off the bat yet seem to spark off each other (in conversation at least).

I like how McKay is thinking about things he wants to do but thinks he can't, and then Sheppard does them. I think it is in character because Rodney isn't exactly the most aware person (although I think the argument could be strongly put forth that he's more self-aware than he lets on), while Sheppard so far has been very good at reading people.

fumbling with John's trousers, cursing the poor military design

Hee - the military's answer to keeping men from getting in each other's pants is make the pants harder to get into.

"I suppose that would be the practical thing to do," he acknowledged.

And obviously it's all about the practicality. Snerk. I like the understated humor in this because they are both playing a game.

He decided that his original model wasn't at all correct, and that it would be best to start all over again with a fresh one.

Very nice tie-in to the shifting paradigm of his and Sheppard's relationship. Cool. :)

I think overall the story is really well-written, and the premise (as I said) hits my kinks well. I don't really feel as if I know the characters well enough to comment on the characterization, in general, although I do think McKay would snark a little more about getting dirty/his computer, etc. But who knows, post-coital McKay might be much calmer than "we're doomed!" McKay, which is his general state of being on the show. In any case, I enjoyed it tremendously! :)

Date: 2004-09-16 07:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com
Yes, you are the first! Thank you for letting me know this worked. It felt strange to write them, because I wasn't sure what was going on in their heads. And then I had a moment of fear--oh no, I turned them into Tucker and Reed! I'm still not convinced I didn't. But at least I'm pretty sure they're not Jack and Daniel.

I'm such a whinygrrrl.

Thank you for the feedback, you're very sweet. And I kind of dig the lap-sitting, too. Sheppard really seems like the type to me.

Date: 2004-09-16 07:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com
Oh, thank you! I'm so glad this worked. Scary new fandom and all. *g* I like your description of Sheppard's attitude--yup, that's him in a nutshell. Not that McKay is complaining. Well, okay, he is, but he doesn't really mean it.

Date: 2004-09-16 07:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com
Aw, thank you, zootie! You're so kind. I'm so happy you enjoyed this, and that Rodney's attitude worked for you. As well as John's (that naughty boy.)

Date: 2004-09-16 10:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kelly-girl.livejournal.com
Mmm, lap sitting and snark and hot sex. Great story and I think you did well with their characters and I can so see Sheppard suggesting they be hand job buddies and then it leading to more.

Hope you write more shep/mckay. Oh and the bj scene was lovely.

Date: 2004-09-16 10:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] agentotter.livejournal.com
Bwah! Aw, they're so cute when they're screwed.

Date: 2004-09-16 10:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com
Thank you! I really appreciate the encouragement. You're adorable, too. *g*

Date: 2004-09-16 10:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com
::slobbers on you:: Thank you! Very much appreciated. I'm ridiculously insecure about this pairing. Methinks Rodney is rubbing off on me.

Date: 2004-09-16 11:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com
Thank you so much, arti! It's very much appreciated. I'm so glad you enjoyed. And your icon really makes me smile. Oh, McKay, you have fangirls galore!

Date: 2004-09-16 12:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] artifuss.livejournal.com
Okay, it's a good thing that you knew that I meant 'you' when I had instead typed 'I'. *snort* Remind me to stop chatting after 4am? lmbo

And the McKay fangirl thing, is so much different from when he was on SG1, lol! Whatever tptb did to change our view without changing the character, they did it really well. We just might have to give them credit to that, lol!

[livejournal.com profile] nostalgia_lj made that icon. It would have been a crime to not snag it, lol. *g*

Date: 2004-09-16 02:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dirty-diana.livejournal.com
This is adorable. And hot. And I love your cranky McKay and bratty John. Rock on.

Date: 2004-09-16 10:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] msbeata.livejournal.com
Well done. I like the way you wrote them.

Date: 2004-09-17 08:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com
Thank you! Glad you liked this.

Date: 2004-09-17 08:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com
Thank you, Karen! I really appreciate the kind words. I can't wait to see more of these guys, because yeah, they're still not quite settled into character yet for me.

Glad you enjoyed it!

Date: 2004-09-17 11:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com
Hey, Happy Anniversary, sweetie! And thank you for the lovely feedback. I'm glad this worked for you. It was, as I whined previously, hard to write--surprisingly so. So it's very much appreciated!

Date: 2004-09-17 12:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com
Thank you, dearie! Glad you enjoyed.

Date: 2004-09-17 12:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com
Oh yes, Rodney's definitely in trouble. *g* Thank you so much, I'm tickled that you liked the scenario. It's interesting to write them, because they don't know each other well at all, as opposed to, say, Jack and Daniel. It's not like they're really friends or anything. Makes for a lot of interesting possibilities!

Date: 2004-09-17 12:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com
Thank you so much for the lovely comments! I'm so happy you liked this. I know what you mean about McKay, it's hard to figure out where his level of snark would be when he has sex on the mind. And Sheppard. We need a Snark-O-Meter for this guy.

who aren't best friends right off the bat yet seem to spark off each other

That's it exactly, isn't it? They are so fascinating to watch together. Definitely sparks. I want to see an episode that consists solely of them locked in a room together. I'd bet it would be terrific.

Date: 2004-09-17 12:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com
Thank you, I really appreciate the feedback! I kind of like lap sitting, myself. *g* Pushes my buttons. I do suspect I'll be writing more of these guys.

thanks again!

Date: 2004-09-17 12:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com
Hee! They're adorable no matter what.

Date: 2004-09-17 12:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com
Thank you! Bratty, LOL, that's a perfect description for Sheppard. I hadn't thought of him that way, but boy, I can see it.

Date: 2004-09-17 12:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com
Thanks! I really appreciate it. Glad you liked.

Date: 2004-09-20 07:17 pm (UTC)
ext_1758: (fat tony)
From: [identity profile] raqs.livejournal.com
OK, i've read this like six times now, and i'm mad that there's not more. surely if i let it sit for a while, more will grow?

surely.

Date: 2004-09-23 02:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com
You know, that Fat Tony icon gets me every time.

And thank you for the vote of encouragement, you sweet thing, you. Glad you enjoyed.

January 2012

S M T W T F S
1 234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031    

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Mar. 25th, 2026 05:24 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios