Because mmmchelle said I needed to.

[thegrrrl2002]

Write that darn John/Rodney hot tub porn I kept talking about, that is.

This is for chelle, who had a really rough weekend and could use a soak in a nice hot tub.



"Come on, Rodney." John sat on the edge of the edge of the tub, trailing his hand in the water. "Hot tub."

"I can see that, Colonel." Rodney eyed it dubiously. A big round tub, humming quietly as the water swirled around. It had an interior shelf for seating and looked pretty much like any hot tub he'd ever seen on earth.

"With hot water." John flicked a handful at him.

Rodney flinched. "Thank you for the show and tell, but I assure you, I know what a hot tub is."

"Okay, what is with you?" John sat back with a huff. "I though this would be really cool. Give us a chance to relax. And you know--" He wiggled his brows. "Get comfortable."

"It's Ancient," Rodney explained.

"Yes, it is, Rodney. We're in an Ancient city, remember?"

"I mean, how do we know it's really a hot tub? Maybe it's a vat for cooking wraith. Or--or some kind of mach one wormhole--look, it's round, and the water looks like the event horizon--what are you doing?"

John stood and pulled his shirt off. "I'm going to soak in the tub. You can stay out there and be as paranoid as you please about technology."

"John--"

"Hot tub, Rodney." John kicked his shoes off, shucked his pants and his boxers, then bent down to remove his socks.

"But..." Rodney's voice trailed off as he admired John's naked body. It never got old, seeing John naked. Lean with just the right amount of muscle, and an ass that Rodney was sure had a perfect curvature. "I don't have a swimsuit?" he finished weakly.

"I've already seen what you've got, Rodney. Up close." John grinned as he straightened, then scratched the back of his neck, dark hair flashing under his arm. "Oh well, guess I'll just have to get comfortable with myself in there."

"But, but--"

John sat, sliding his legs into the water. "Ooooh, nice," he moaned.

The sound went directly to Rodney's cock. "Oh, you are doing that on purpose, aren't you? At least let me get my equipment and scan it, okay?"

"It's not an event horizon, Rodney." John slid down until he was sitting, chest deep, in the tub. "Oh, wow. Yes, I think you should bring your all equipment over here, right now." He tilted his head back and closed his eyes in an expression of utter bliss, then opened them to peer up at Rodney from under his lashes.

Rodney shed his jacket and started pulling at his clothes. "Don't think I can't recognize how manipulative you're being right now." He toed his shoes off and shoved down his pants. "If something bizarre happens in there, I'm not going to be responsible for it, okay?" Shirt over his head, briefs tugged off and added to the pile of clothing on the ground. "Are you sure that's even water?"

John extended a hand. "Just get in here."

Gingerly, Rodney lowered a foot into the water. Warm, very warm.

"Just watch out for the giant piranha."

Rodney couldn't help it. He jerked his foot away, even though of course there were no piranhas.

John laughed.

"I'm glad you are amused by my cautionary instincts." Rodney stepped back down into water, determinedly this time, lowering himself until he was sitting next to John. Hot and steamy water, really quite soothing as it swirled around him. It felt like a delicate massage, and he found himself wondering how many tiny jets it must take to get the coverage right, especially--oh, oh, right there, at the perpetually tense spot between his shoulders. "Mmmmm," he sighed, sinking down lower.

John was nodding. "I think it has sensors or something, because right now it's hitting that sore spot on my lower back."

"Uh huh." Rodney closed his eyes and relaxed into the surprisingly comfortable contours of his seat. He was obviously spending way too much time hunched over computers because he hadn't even realized his back muscles were so knotted up. "Oh, god, it's just--oh, god yes."

"I see you've gotten over your inexplicable fear of hot tubs," John said.

"Well, it hasn't killed either of us yet, and oooooh, yeah, right there, feels so good--" He sank lower, immersing his shoulders. "Oh god this is good."

"You're really getting into it, aren't you?"

"It's the best hot tub ever, isn't it? Like magic fingers."

John moved in the water, and then his solid body straddled Rodney's lap. "Oh, really?"

Rodney opened his eyes to find John glaring down at him, condensation dripping from his nose. "What?"

"I'm starting to get a little jealous."

"Okay, your fingers are magic, too." Rodney grabbed hold of John's narrow hips and pulled him close, until John's erect cock brushed his stomach. "And so is that," he added in a placating tone.

"Damn right it is." John kissed him, a wet lick of a kiss that left Rodney breathless and wanting more.

"This whole hot tub experience keeps getting better and better," he murmured.

"You were such a pain in the ass to get in here." John slid his hands up Rodney's arms, over his shoulders and onto his neck. "I don't whether to strangle you or have sex with you."

"Do I get a vote?" Rodney stroked John's thighs, then reached around to cup John's ass, smooth and slippery in his hands. "Because, um, sex?"

"Maybe."

Rodney slid forward in his seat so that he could embrace John completely, pressing their wet slippery chests together. He adjusted himself so that his cock slid snug against John's in the tight space between their bodies. Warm and wet, he licked and sucked on John's neck, tasting whatever bath salts the ancients used. "Maybe?"

John gyrated in his lap. "Maybe." With a small sigh, he nuzzled Rodney's hair. "Maybe yes."

Rodney grinned. He loved it when John got like this, soft and compliant and horny. Openly needy, in a way that Rodney would have never expected from his public persona, complete with yes, yes, yes' and softly moaned oh god yes's. And Rodney was more than willing to give John whatever it was that he needed. Running his hands over silky wet skin, Rodney said, "Definitely yes."

John's legs tightened around him. It was dizzying--hot water, hot naked John moving against him, so much rubbing and touching and swirling. It was hard to tell one sensation from another, water churning at his back, John's fingers digging into his skin, water splashing as John thrust forward. "Rodney--oh, fingers. I want your fingers."

"Magic fingers?" Rodney slid a hand down John's back.

John chuckled, his body vibrating deliciously. "Absolutely. Oh--" His hands clenched Rodney's shoulders as Rodney eased one finger inside him. "Yes, yes, yes, come on, more."

Rodney hesitated. "It's not exactly lubricated," he said.

Reaching down between them, John gripped Rodney's cock and squeezed. "Pretend you're fucking me," John whispered.

Rodney groaned happily, pushing up into John's hand while sliding another finger inside John. It was a tight squeeze and Rodney loved that squeeze when it was around his cock, when he was shoving himself inside John's tight tight body, loved the way John's muscles gripped his cock as he moved in and out. "You like this," he said.

"Oh god yes," John said in the most perfect way imaginable, all soft lips and hot breath against Rodney's ear.

"Jesus, John," Rodney murmured. He worked his fingers, reaching in further, moving and rubbing until John squirmed against him, whispering all sorts of dirty things about his cock and his ass and how fucking good it was, how fucking good Rodney was. All the while his hand moved on Rodney's cock, stroking and squeezing exquisitely until Rodney couldn't take it anymore and he came, whimpering open-mouthed on John's shoulder.

"Wow, Rodney." John clung tight, squeezing with his legs and his arms and rubbing his cock into
Rodney with short, jerky thrusts. With his fingers Rodney could feel John's insides quiver in anticipation, harsh breathing in his ears and he pushed them in hard, once, twice, sinking even deeper. With a gasp John tensed up, then shuddered and came in spurts against Rodney's stomach, water churning and sweeping it away. John's low moan was one of pure relief and pleasure and joy, and Rodney--Rodney was the one who made him sound like that.

Rodney carefully withdrew his fingers, skin dragging along delicate tissue and really, they needed lube for this sort of thing. John twitched, then relaxed against him, a hard heavy weight draped over Rodney's chest and shoulders. Rodney had to clasp his hands around John's waist to keep him from sliding off. John remained limp, as if certain Rodney would do exactly that. "Mmm. Good."

"Yes, quite good."

John sighed, chest heaving against Rodney. "Tired."

"Me too." Between John and the hot water, Rodney was entirely sapped of strength, but with John hanging half over his shoulder, he couldn't exactly lean back. "Um?" He shifted, trying to get John to move, because hey, bristly chin digging into his back.

"Comfy."

"You're positively monosyllabic after sex, aren't you?"

A low laugh, and John lifted his head, moving just enough for his lips to reach Rodney's for a long, lush kiss. "Yes."

Rodney kissed him again. "This hot tub thing with the sex? A very good idea."

"Uh huh." John leaned in to kiss him again, then hesitated, frowning. "Although..."

"What?"

John looked at the water moving around them. "Our sperm is all in here now."

"Oh." Rodney eyed the water. "Sperm soup."

John thumped him, then sat back looking worried. "You don't suppose they'll get all lodged in the filter and something weird will happen, do you?"

"It's just a hot tub, John. You told me that yourself." Although the situation was making him uneasy in a nebulous kind of way. Ancient technology. You couldn't always trust it. "Still, it's a lot of our DNA floating around, isn't it?"

John pushed his damp hair off his forehead. "Right. What if it's, I don't know, some kind of weird ancient device for cloning or something?"

"We could do worse than having a city full of McKays", Rodney said. Then thought for a moment.

"You never know what this city will do, Rodney. Maybe we need to..." John started.

Rodney scrambled out of the tub, John following. Naked and dripping, he watched John hurry to the controls and wave his hands over the screen. The swirling stopped, and the tub began to drain. Rodney felt a rush of relief. "Of course, it's just a tub full of hot water," he said, more to assure himself than John.

"Or course," John answered.

"Is there a cleaning cycle on that thing?" Rodney asked, gesturing toward the control panel.

John hit a few buttons. "There. That should get the piranhas and everything else, too."

Then it dawned. "Oh, funny." Rodney shook his head, arms crossed over his chest. "You've been pulling my leg, haven't you?"

"I thought it was something else that I was pulling on." John grinned, ridiculously pleased with himself.

"You are such a--a--I don't know what you are." Rodney unfolded his arms and pointed a finger a John. "There are no words for what you are."

John pulled out a stash of towels, and tossed him one. "Maybe we can use it to make a whole army of John Sheppards," he teased. "Wouldn't that be cool?"

"I hate you," Rodney said.

When John came over and began gently running the towel over Rodney's limbs, Rodney felt marginally better. And when John dropped the towel and began trailing kisses down his chest, Rodney was maybe a little bit appeased. By the time John sank down on his knees and smiled up with Rodney's cock stiffening in his mouth, Rodney had gotten over his indignation entirely.

Just like magic.

Comments

[jenlev.livejournal.com]

::::twirls you and chelle around in gentle non-dizzifying hugs:::

hee! "how do we know it's really a hot tub? Maybe it's a vat for cooking wraith. Or--or some kind of mach one wormhole--look, it's round, and the water looks like the event horizon--"

and rodney is *so* going to make john pay, and pay, and pay some more for that piranha comment. which is perfect by the way.

as for the rest, it's sweet and funny, and of course guh. and there's also that layer of kindness between them in the midst of the snark. or maybe because of it? or expressed by it? ack, hard to articulate but it's there. :)

and i *adore* that john worries about the potential for ancient cloning afterwards. bwahaha! er, he could be right...i mean it's atlantis, *anything* can happen.

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

Hee! I'm glad you liked it. And that the affectionate snark came through. *g* I think it's definitely how they express themselves.

[eretria.livejournal.com]

That just was the perfect bedtime story. Still smiling, here.
I hope chelle feels better soon, but she can hardly not, with the help of something as positively delightful as this story.

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

Oh, I adore your icon. *g*

And thank you, that's so kind of you to say! I'm glad you liked it.

[ladycat777.livejournal.com]

Mmm. Sweet and loving and just a little bit mischivous and a little bit paranoid, the perfect mix of them both. And guh, hot. Lovely.

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed!

[sp23.livejournal.com]

"I'm glad you are amused by my cautionary instincts."

Hee! Now I want to write a story entitled Cautionary Instincts.

I really loved this - Rodney being paranoid and snarky and John teasing and then jealous! Of bubbling hot water! Love Jealous!John. *g*

Such a sweet, funny story.

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

Cautionary Instincts! That would be perfect. Go, write! *g*

And jealous John is so silly, isn't he?

I'm really glad you enjoyed this, thank you so much!

[mmmchelle.livejournal.com]

I was wondering where you'd been all day, and you were writing this. Yay! It definitely made me feel better, and want to take a nice hot bath. /g/

John is so bad, teasing Rodney about leaving their sperm in the hot tub. Doesn't he realize he gave up post-coital hot tub cuddling? Silly man.

Of course he's a silly man who loves having Rodney's fingers in him.

Thank you for this, sweetie. A hot tub and fingering and John and Rodney being playful together were just what I needed. (((hugs)))

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

::squeezes you:: I'm so glad you enjoyed it, sweetie! And I'll send Rodney right over to run your bath. As long as it's in a normal, earthly bathtub, of course. *g*

I have no idea why John gave up on post coital cuddling in the hot tub. He just got totally silly on me.

How are you feeling? I didn't have a chance to email, because in between writing I had to actually work, OMG, what's up with that? Can't patent deadlines wait?

[miera-c.livejournal.com]

This is so much better than that story with the magically lubricating hot tub. (Wasn't it in some kind of cabin?)

(though if they don't tell the others about it, especially Elizabeth, I'll be very irritated. *g*)

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

::snickers::

Nope, not magically lubricating.

And I think Elizabeth is going to start holding staff meetings in the tub. *g*

[wickedwords.livejournal.com]

That's adorably sweet.

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I just can't help myself sometimes. *g*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

Thank you, I so needed that. Noticed absence of fic from youse, and so did newly converted friend, but happily we now have their bad jokes about equipment, and I'll think of hottubs at each blue gate now.

Of course Rodney would make John jealous with his oooohing, though who can resist condensation dripping from his nose?

You have the monopoly in their wetroom sex, you know; and I can never get enough of a lapful of (squirming) John.

*dies at the sperm soup* Hah, he got him again. Oh, thank you. Again.


PS: especially grateful for making it very clear that hot tubs are not actually filled with lube *bad memories*

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you liked! Those gates should all be hot tubs. It would make the show a lot more fun, wouldn't it?

We should at least get another wet JF episode. One where he's not all wrapped up in his jacket and tac vest. Because he'd look cute with water dripping off his nose, I just know he would.

And no, no self-lubricating hot tubs here. ::snickers::

[whatdanidigs.livejournal.com]

A wonderfully sweet and silly.

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

*g* That's exactly what I was going for. Thank you!

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

Loved this whole thing, but this:

"I don't whether to strangle you or have sex with you."

"Do I get a vote?" Rodney stroked John's thighs, then reached around to cup John's ass, smooth and slippery in his hands. "Because, um, sex?"

made me laugh out loud, because I could HEAR them. :) So perfect.

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

Yay! Thank you! It makes me very happy to hear that. I'm so glad you enjoyed1

[malnpudl.livejournal.com]

Your porn always makes me so damn happy. It's hot and sweet and funny all at once, and most of all it's so very real.

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

Aw, thank you, I'm very flattered! I'm glad you liked.

[ship-recs.livejournal.com]

That was lovely. Perfect way to start the day :)

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

thank you!

[reginabellatrix.livejournal.com]

::squeals and flails madly:: They're so cute. Loved the bit where they start worrying about it being some kind of cloning machine. Actually, I loved the whole thing.

My jacuzzi is technically a three-person tub, don't suppose you could arrange for John and Rodney to be in it, hmmm? ;)

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I'm so glad you liked! And you definitely deserve to have John and Rodney come visit you in your tub.

Hmmm, think I could squeeze in there too? *g*

[reedfem.livejournal.com]

I knew there was a reason I opened up the flist again tonight.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

::clings to you and sanity at the same time::

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

Oh, sanity is highly overrated.

and I'm glad you liked the porny. *g*

::hugs::

[sage]

Oh lovely. That's exactly the sort of comfort fic I needed. :D

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

Yay! I'm glad you liked. *g*

[sffan.livejournal.com]

Hee. This was great. Funny and hot and sexy and so them. That icon is also perfect.

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. And the icon is from "Inferno". I so adored that moment at the end, with Sheppard teasing Rodney like that. So. Cute!

[melagan.livejournal.com]

This is lovely. loved the bit where John is jealous of the hot tub

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

LOL, that John is so silly sometimes. *g* Rodney makes him that way, though.

I'm glad you enjoyed!

[fatuorum.livejournal.com]

*happy happy sighs* This is so adorable and sweet. What do we do without you and chelle?

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

Aw, thank you, that's so sweet of you to say! I really indulge my schmoopy side with these guys. I'm so glad other folks enjoy it, too. They're just so damn cute.

[stillane.livejournal.com]

Ahhh. Warm, squishy, happy porn. Plus, it's a vicarious hot tub experience. Joy and rapture. *g*

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

Yay! I'm glad you enjoyed. I could use a little soak in a hot tub right about now, too. But I'd settle for watching John and Rodney in one.

When are we going to see that ep? *g*

[stungunbilly.livejournal.com]

They really love each other, it shines through everything else in this story. Nice.
I can't help thinking this is an mpreg precursor, though, with the DNA soup. It's those wily Ancients, can't pass up a chance to inconvenience their descendants. So scary!
Though I'd like one of those hot tubs right about now...

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

Hee! I wouldn't be surprised if those ancients had something weird in mind.

And I could defnitely go for a soak in a hot tub right now, even without John and Rodney for entertainment.

(although it would be much more fun with them!)

[cedara]

Mmmmh, lovely story.

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

Thank you, sweetie!

[titc.livejournal.com]

Hot and nice and I loved the referecnce to all those cloning stories at the end!

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

Yay! Glad you enjoyed it!

[feather-autant.livejournal.com]

Rodney is so easy to wind up, and nobody does that better than John, the master of manipulation. *g*

You do them so well. *girly sigh*

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

Winding Rodney up is John's favorite pasttime. I hope he indulges plenty in S3. *g*

I'm glad you enjoyed it, sweets!

[intermezzo]

awwww, hot and sweet. Just what I needed! *g* And besides, I ♥ how you write them. So very realistic and so very them! Thanks

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

Thank *you*, you sweet thing! I'm glad you enjoyed.

[diluvian.livejournal.com]

Hot like steamy water, and funny -- DNA soup, ack!

scratched the back of his neck, dark hair flashing under his arm

I, um, might have gotten stuck at this part for a while.
::admits to weirdness::

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank god I'm not the only weird one who finds that sexy. It's that dark hair and pale skin, and cute little vulnerable underarms...

::is weird, too::